Wednesday 22nd March 2023
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Writing swimsuit posts always makes me cranky, 2018 edition

solid swim

Actually, this year I didn’t go to nearly as dark a place as I typically do looking at swimsuits, I think because there is no shortage of really cute, wearable options available right now that it almost makes the prospect of looking for one exciting. Almost. I am reasonably at peace with my body and its flaws, but nothing throws those flaws into sharper relief than trying on swimsuits in a poorly lit department store dressing room with unflattering mirrors, so I make all my purchases online: far better to have to deal with the pain in the ass of making a return than to endure the former. And with that thought in mind, let’s look at some suits: I like the bustier detail here: it’s just the right amount of fashiony.

la blanca

Strategic ruching keeps this one flattering.

nina swim

I typically avoid horizontal stripes in a swimsuit because they tend to widen one, but this red, white, and blue number is so well-cut that I still think it would look really good on.


This is made of some magical material that holds in your stomach, and I like the Grecian vibe of the design.

ganni swim

The smocking at the bustline here is so cute.

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A polka-dotted halter suit is so excellently retroish.

lace swim

I usually don’t go in for lace-up anything, but it’s so well-executed here that I totally would.

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And here’s a lace-up in extended sizes.

becca swim

This looks pretty bare without really exposing anything much.

mio swim

Diagonal stripes are kind of fun and new wave, and definitely slimming too.

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Just a good classic tank suit.

army swim

I dig the army green and thin straps here.

kiini swim

I used to own this embroidered suit (and I’ve shown it to you before, I’m pretty sure) but the dog chewed it up. Now that it’s marked down I am tempted to (but probably won’t) spring for another, because it is so damn cute.

hoffman swim

The colorblocking here is bold without being too much.

stripe swim

This is rather spendy, but I think it’s just about the chicest thing ever.

tavik swim

And finally: I like the idea of a plunging neckline that doesn’t plunge too perilously deep.


Posted on July 2nd, 2018 27 Comments

27 Responses

  1. c.w. says:

    One of the downsides of living near an ocean beach in the summer (and, yes, I do know how privileged that sounds, but it took me 41 years to get here so you can judge me, but only a little bit) is observing too many inappropriately bathing suited GOCA bodies. I’m first in line to tell women to wear-what-you-want no matter what your age or body type, but for me I do NOT want to expose large segments my 66-year-old behind to the world at large––this is just me. This year for the first time ever I bought a tankini that has both a bikini bottom and a boy-short bottom. The suit was made with female surfers in mind and the boy-short bottom covers all the saggy cellulite-ty bits. For the first time in six years I feel like I can go to the beach in my boy shorts and look cute/sexy/fashionable. It’s a f$%king revelation.

    I would wear that adorable navy one-piece lace-up in a heartbeat!

  2. joannawnyc says:

    Polka dot halter suit is a retro pinup classic that I’ve worn in many iterations over the decades!

    My current suits are from Fantasie (UK lingerie & swimsuits) — a black bustier-style tankini top (with drawstrings to adjust length)and highwaist bottoms in both solid black and black with white polka dots and a black/gold metallic bra top to wear with the high-waist black bottoms when I’m feeling brave.

  3. Mae says:

    Black swimsuits make me sweat like a whore in church.

  4. Andrea says:

    Everyone should scoot over to Summersalt to check out their offerings. Functional, fashionable, made from recycled materials, and nothing clocks in over $95.

    I treated myself to the Swan Dive style last year and wore it into the ground — still looks like the day I pulled it out of the bag. I’m long-torsoed with a DD/E chest, so finding a style that was supportive and well-fitting felt like a miracle moment.

    Lastly, since online shopping can be hit-or-miss with swimsuits, they offer home try-on packs where you can select multiple sizes/styles/colors, try them on at home, and only pay for what you keep.

    • Alexa says:

      Thanks for the tip. I may have found my next suit : )

    • Mamavalveeta03 says:

      I received a flier in the mail with Summersalt’s chic & cute offerings. It’s the first time I’ve seen the brand. I might try it because of the long torso issue. Thanks, Andrea!

    • Lisa says:

      Can I ask what suit works? I’m also DD (and after 3 kids they are flopsy) and long waisted, have always gone for bra cup sized suits as otherwise I’m either smooshed or oozing out of suits. Thanks,

  5. sk says:

    I have the La Blanca suit (second one in your list) in black, and I can attest that it has magical properties that make one look more svelte and flat in the stomach. I normally hate wearing swimsuits and it is making me excited to do so. And the price for the quality is great. Happy that you picked my new summer suit as one of your picks!

    • sk says:

      Oh and by the way, I LOVE the first suit in your list. So chic. Might have to stalk it online and see if I can snag it at the end of the summer on sale.

  6. SC says:

    I look for models with BOOBS. I have d-cup – half of what I buy has my girls falling out in obscene ways bc they are being modeled online by A cups models.

    Plunging front might as well be me topless. Too much sunscreen ; )

    I just got a cute army green, lace up front that is sexy but manageable at target. I literally about like 12 suits at the store, took them home to try on in the comfort of my own home, kept two and took the rest back. Win!

  7. Kathi says:

    Thank you for including some from Swimsuits for All. I have two from them and can attest to the quality and style. Being a D cup needing solid support and some thigh coverage, they have a great selection for me. I also have one of their cover ups that doubles as a dress!

  8. Laurel says:

    Being of the loooong torso clan, I am all about the tankini. I wish I could find a one piece long enough, but alas even those made for “long” torsos have been too short on me.

    I’ve been super pleased with everything I’ve gotten from Swimsuits For All. I’ve also heard good things about Torrid’s offerings, but haven’t tried them.

    • Michele says:

      Yessssss, this! I’m in the short torso club and cannot wear a 1-piece for my life. Love, love, love tankini’s. Please show some tankini’s next time, please, please?

      My favorite tankini fit is Gotex, btw. I’ve tried Swimsuits For All and they’re not exactly quite quite on me.

    • Michele says:

      Yessssss, this! I’m in the short torso club and cannot wear a 1-piece for my life. Love, love, love tankini’s. Please show some tankini’s next time, please, please?

      My favorite tankini fit is Gotex, btw. I’ve tried Swimsuits For All and they’re not exactly quite quite on me.

  9. Rachel says:

    Sadly, most of those great suits I just can’t wear without breast support.

    I bought this Malia Mills one-piece last year — super splurge for me — in a great color. The fit was great and my D-cups were held well without underwires.

  10. Gablesgirl says:

    I am still wearing a bikini. I wear one pieces, too and these are great! Does anyone still wear a two-piece?

    • I still wear bikinis for two reasons. I have a long torso and small chest so one piece suits look unflattering and are uncomfortable to wear. Also, I can’t stand the feeling of wet material on my stomach and back (no idea why). I think it’s two-piece for life for me, maybe added with a rash guard with a high UPF when I’m dry.

    • EMM says:

      I do. My core is pretty strong and firm, but I have a little lower-abdominal pooch from my c-section scar that is very obvious in a one-piece but not a two-piece. I’m growing up backwards, because I wore only one-pieces in my 20s and now wear bikinis in my 50s. 😉

    • Trixie says:

      Two pieces for me too. I have a very long torso and big boobs and one piece sizing has always been challenging. Also like being able to buy the parts of a two piece separately.

    • moi says:

      I do. They work best on my long-torsoed, pear-shaped body. I do buy one pieces for swimming laps, but have yet to find one that’s all that flattering—and they are always a little “strangely.”

  11. Mamavalveeta03 says:

    Always a one-piece, never a bikini for me…I don’t want to scare small children at the beach. And all I can say is, “Bring on the ruching!”

  12. liz says:

    All beautiful and very flattering to our middle aged bodies.